Recipe - Lobster

8 qt Hot Water, Boiling
1 Lobster
One fourth pound Butter, Melted

Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are squeamish
about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only proper
method of preparing them. Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your guilt
is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're cooked. The
fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea floor,
and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.

Grasp the lobster behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty
eyestalks and say, "Where were you on the night of the 21st?", then
flourish a picture of a scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this will
refresh that crude neural apparatus you call a memory!" The lobster will
squirm noticeably. It may even take a swipe at you with one of its claws.
Incorrigible.

Pop it into the pot. Justice has been served, and shortly you and your
friends will be, too. "Cooking: The Art of Using Appliances and Utensils
into Excuses and Apologies"

After lobster is added to hot water, wait a while till bright red. Remove
lobster from hot water. Bash lobster repeatedly with heavy object using
fingers and implements...pick out lobster chunks and plunge into melted
butter.

Eat and repeat steps

Suggested Wine: Chardonnay

NOTES : To crack and open the shell, use a heavy object such as a hammer to
really clobber the lobster after boiling. Nutpicks, pliers, tweezers and
other impliments may be helpful in removing the meat. Do not use
napkin...lick fingers clean to enjoy every last drop!
Recipe by: Demitri Baroutsos and others

Posted to TNT Prodigy's Recipe Exchange Newsletter by Timothy Champney
TimChampney@cfanet.com on Mar 09, 1997.