Recipe - Curmudgeon Pickled Hash A La Al Martin

50 pound Waller Waller Onions
One fourth pound Pickling Spices
One fourth pound Crushed Red Peppers
10 ga Red Wine Vinegar Or Ripple
5 pound Sugar
2 One half ga Water Or More Ripple
Three fourths pound Salt
25 pound Fresh Squidlets *
25 pound Tofu Cut Into 1" Cubes **
2 qt Tabascar Sauce
8 pound Minced Garlic
1 ds Secret Curmudgeon Sauce ***

* Squid should be at least bait quality if fresh squid are not available.
** Tofu should be freshly made to Al's personal specifications. *** Al's
Secret Curmudgeon Sauce really contains 1 Quart Sweat Sauce, 1 quart Nam
Pla (Fish Sauce), 1 quart Wednesday's Frosties, 1 Gallon Justin Wilson's
Dehydrator Barbecue Sauce and six dozen crushed Nieman Marcus $250.00
Cookies. ~
~ Remove skins from Walla Walla onions. Wash squid, remove
skin and entrails, leaving tentacles. Carefully cube tofu into exact 1"
cubes, cause Al is particular or is that peculiar anyway 1" cubes please.
Set squid aside in the sun while preparing brine/pickling mixture.

In a 55 gallon oak barrel place the red wine vinegar, water, salt, sugar,
Tabasco sauce and Secret Curmudgeon Sauce; mix thoroughly. Add minced
garlic (Al usually uses 16 pounds per batch), Pickling spice, crushed red
pepper and stir until well mixed.

Place the onions, squid and tofu into brine solution making sure everything
is submerged. If necessary place a manhole cover on top of everything to
keep the ingredients submerged. Allow the process to continue as long as
you possibly stand without sampling. It should be ready just about picnic
time. That's all ther is to it Folks. Named after the Patron Curmudgeon Of
The Cooking Echo Al Martin.

Al Martin mistakenly left this recipe in the Tofu Cookbook he had borrowed
from the Portland Public Library where it was on loan from the Escondido
California Public Library. Typed for your personal pleasure by Syd Bigger.

From Gemini's MASSIVE MealMaster collection at www.synapse.com/~gemini